Darkness
by rizzles-4-lyf
Summary: Please, please do not read this story if you are triggered by self harm/suicide references. Jane can't handle her latest trauma. Neither can Maura.


**IMPORTANT! I have never written anything like this, but PLEASE, if you are triggered by anything in reference to self harm or suicide, please do not continue reading. Your safety and mental health is paramount to me. **

**Mauras POV**

It had been a terrible fortnight; worse than terrible. I had never seen Jane so fragile, so broken. Just when she had thought all her struggles with Hoyt were behind her; he got her again. Even in death, he was hurting her. Before he died, he failed to mention the one last apprentice he had trained especially to get Jane just in case he did die before he got to have his final way with her.

It had been two weeks since Jane was found. She was missing for over a week, and nothing was the same. She cut all her hair off, she hadn't eaten or showered. She wasn't handling whatever it was that happened to her down in that basement. As her friend, I only knew the bare minimum details. I knew she had been tortured, and I did not dare ask or try to find out how or what he did to her; it made me too sad. I had tried to visit her every day this week, and every day; she asked me to leave. She couldn't handle being around anyone; which after what she had just been through; seemed perfectly normal to me. I had never been so worried about her before though, so here I was again, getting ready to knock on her door and try to make her eat something.

I spent the week she was missing wide awake. I think I ate two meals and showered once. Nothing felt right without her, and nothing felt right knowing what was potentially happening to her. Though I wasn't aware exactly what happened, I had noted the bandages covering her arms and ankles. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the images of cigarette burns and scalpel scars. The last time Jane and I had sat together, she barely spoke. I told her that I was taking good care of Joe Friday, and that her family missed her dearly. She had not permitted any of them anywhere near her. I was the only person allowed into her home since she returned. I think it's because she knew I wouldn't look at her with sympathy in my eyes, and she knew I would never try and get her to talk about it until she mentioned it. Her family weren't the same in that way. All her mother wanted was for her to talk about what happened, and all Frankie did was cry at the sight of his damaged sister.

I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door. I waited a few minutes before I knocked again. Nothing. Complete silence. I looked at the time on my wrist watch, there was no way Jane was sleeping at 7pm.

"Jane? It's Maura." I called out, cracking the door open slightly. I was surprised when it did, in fact, open. She usually had it locked tightly. I walked into the dark apartment and turned the living room light on, pursing my lips in concern at the sight of the messy room in front of me. I placed the pizza I bought with me on the kitchen counter and wondered where she possibly could have gone. She hadn't left all week. I called Frost, asking if he had heard anything from his former partner, he told me he hadn't spoken to her in two weeks. I suddenly caught a glimpse of Janes bedroom and noticed that her light was on. Perhaps she was sleeping; it would make sense after the week of sleepless nights she had had.

**Open POV**

Maura took slow, casual steps as she walked down the hallway, her heels clicking on the wooden floor boards the way they had thousands of times before. She held a plate in her hand with a single piece of pizza on it, the smell of oil making her breathe through her mouth to avoid it.

"Jane?" She whispered, knocking quietly on the bedroom door which was cracked open just enough to let light seep through onto Mauras hands and dress. She pushed the door open, her breath catching in her throat suddenly. The plate in her hands fell and shattered on the floor beneath her. Her heart stopped beating, her whole body beginning to visibly shake as she tried to comprehend the sight in front of her. Her brain could not keep up with the hundreds of thoughts rushing through her head as she tried to think of what she was supposed to do in this situation. Her eyes darted around the room; she suddenly felt extremely dizzy.

"Jane?" Her voice was broken, shaky as she walked toward her best friends body on the bed. Her otherwise white sheets were stained red, blood dripping onto the white carpet underneath her bed. "Jane!" She screamed, her voice echoing in the room as she grabbed Janes lifeless shoulders, shaking them violently. When she didn't get a response, she knew what was in front of her was real. She instinctively reached for her best friends sliced wrists, desperately trying to find a piece of uncut skin, searching for a pulse. The room was silent, so silent Maura could hear her own heart beating as she stood trying to feel a pulse. Nothing. She felt nothing underneath her fingertips. She blinked over and over again, trying to understand what was happening. She reached for her phone, calling Frost back.

"Dr Isles?" His questioning voice came from the other end of the line. Maura couldn't speak as she took in Janes lifeless face. Her hair fell around her face delicately, and if Maura couldn't see the blood soaked sheets; she'd think her best friend was just napping.

"I need…" She stopped, her breath catching in her throat. "I need a Coroners van." I told him. There was nothing but silence from the other end of the line. He knew she was at Janes, knew she couldn't find Jane.

"Oh god." Maura didn't wait to hear whatever he was going to say next, pressing the end call button on her phone. She bit down on her bottom lip as the reality of the situation crashed into her, knocking her to the floor. Violent, loud sobs escaped Mauras chest. She grasped at her chest, struggling to find air as she crawled to her usual side of the bed, crawling in beside her best friend. She knew she shouldn't touch Janes body, but none of that mattered in that moment. She lifted Janes arm and wrapped it around her shoulder, Janes arm falling out of her fingertips due to the slippery blood that now coated Mauras hands.

"No, no, no, no." Was all Maura could manage as she rest her head on Janes chest. More sobs escaped her chest as she realised how cold Jane was, and even more so, she noticed that she could not feel or hear her friend's heartbeat. There was no way way was going to be able to cope with this, she thought to herself as she felt a sharp pinch against her thigh. She reached down and grabbed the razor blade that was stained with Janes blood. She looked up at her friends lifeless face. Nothing mattered anymore. Her soul mate was gone. Just gone. Maura knew that even if she pushed through and survived this; she wouldn't really survive. She would see Janes face every time she went to work, any time she saw Angela or Frankie, any time she went to Boston Joes. She would be haunted by Jane the same way Jane was haunted by the man who eventually took her life from her. Maura knew that this is exactly where she would end up in two weeks' time, just like her best friend. Lifeless and cold. The thought was too much for her as she ran the cold blade down her own wrist. There was no point in anything after this. Hoyt, even in death, had won.

Maura lay her head back down on Janes chest, wrapping her arm around her friends middle and closing her eyes, waiting to be with her soul mate again.

"Maura?!" She heard Korsak exclaim from the door way, the last thing she heard before she lost consciousness, smiling as she saw Janes face in the darkness.


End file.
